Submitted by: Marie Woods

Ladies and Gentlemen, The President of the United States of America (a smattering of applause):

I…er…I….er…I…er (clears his throat:

Forgive me for the trespasses I’ve trespassed against you.

I was indoctrinated, by my parents and grandparents and their friends, as a child.

All those evil radical activists I hung out with in college took over my mind, I couldn’t help it, they made me do it.

I just want you to love me. Why can’t you love me while I destroy your life. Remember, I can’t help it, it’s not my fault.

I know my Obama Care is a sneaky way of controlling the masses. Remember I won’t everybody to look to me for every crumb they receive.

I know I lie, but I can’t help it. If I told you the truth, you sheep wouldn’t follow me down the road to hell.

Anyway I’m surrounded by a nest of liars in Congress and the Senate and those Czars, I have nothing to do with them. Somebody else hired them. They all whisper in my ear that I have to lie to get you sheep to follow me.

I lied, I’m not a Christian, and I hate the white man, isn’t it obvious. Ya’ll are just too easy to fool.

My goal is to take from the rich white man and give it to those poor ignorant blacks, so they will love me more. I want to keep them ignorant and poor, so they will keep voting for me, their savior, boy do I have them fooled.

By the way, you blacks and whites are so stupid it’s ridiculous, all I, or my minions have to do, is say the word racist, and you both forget what socialist road I’m taking you down. Getting yourselves all up in a snit, back biting each other, it’s laughable, how I can control you sheep like puppets.

The bottom line is this. Whatever comes out of my mouth you can bet your last dollar it’s going to be a lie. You may as well bet it, because if you don’t I’ll take it from you eventually.

Barry Sotero